Dead, Actually
This joke is never not funny.
I don’t even watch The Walking Dead and this is one of my favorite jokes.
beautifulcity: bohemea: Dead, Actually This joke is never not...
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imsirius: “Another cool thing about Ravenclaw is that our...
“Another cool thing about Ravenclaw is that our people are the most individual – some might even call them eccentrics. But geniuses are often out of step with ordinary folk, and unlike some other houses we could mention, we think you’ve got the right to wear what you like, believe what you want, and say what you feel. We aren’t put off by people who march to a different tune; on the contrary, we value them!”
I fuckin’ love being a Ravenclaw.
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entertainmentweekly: So that’s what Jonathan Taylor Thomas...
So that’s what Jonathan Taylor Thomas looks like these days.
YOU BASTARDS! How DARE you stunt cast that beautiful bastard? Now I have to watch your stupid show. ASSHOLES!
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pumpkinackles: #when did my kid get so fuckin weird #sam turned...
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bonzananza: #NO ONE IS WEARING THE SHIRT THAT GAVE HER THE...
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It’s already erect my dear.
It’s already erect my dear.
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Photo
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busy-circuits: buttpilgrim: ＷＨＯ ＤＡＲＥＳ ＡＷＡＫＥＮ ＵＳ ＦＲＯＭ ＯＵＲ ＳＬＵＭＢＥ...
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violetwitch: “Acılar da acılaşıyor gittikçe sanki, bir...
“Acılar da acılaşıyor gittikçe sanki, bir azarlanmayla ölümünü düşünen çocuklar gibi. “
Edip Cansever
I played with matches growing up. All of my siblings did. We only set one curtain and one highway on fire.
I think that is a win.
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OMG WHO ARE THEY GLARING AT? IF LOOKS COULD FORCE SHERLOCK OFF...
OMG WHO ARE THEY GLARING AT? IF LOOKS COULD FORCE SHERLOCK OFF ST. BARTS…damn!
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youlockedmeinthatbloodylab: Am I late to the freaking out about series four party? Nope not until...
Am I late to the freaking out about series four party?
Nope not until we start freaking out about series five
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The third photo just killed me. I’m dead. I hope they get...
The third photo just killed me. I’m dead. I hope they get the BBC in heaven.
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renesmeealyss: This man + glasses = ovary explosion
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[Verse 1]Tell you what I did last nightI came home, say, around...
[Verse 1]
Tell you what I did last night
I came home, say, around a quater to three
Still so high
Hypnotized
In a trance
From this body, so butter and brown and tantalizing
You woulda thought I needed help from this feeling that I felt
So shook I had to catch my breath
[Chorus:]
Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
Oops, there goes my skirt dropin’ to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch careesing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I’m turning red
Who could this be?
I tried and I tried to avoid
but this thing was happening
Swollow my pride
Let it ride and party
But this body felt just like mines
I got worried
I looked over to the left
A reflection of myself
That’s why I couldn’t catch my breath
[Chorus:]
Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
Oops, there goes my skirt dropin’ to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch careesing my legs
Oh my
[Fabolous (rap)]
Uh, yeah, yeah, Desert storm, yeah
Fabolous, yeah, Tweet, yeah
Shorty I strickly wanna spank you
The most I gotta do is spell my name to get your
Vickies to your ankles
I’m serious mami
You’re fuckin wit the kid
aka William H period Bonnie
You know I’m the type
that be Crushin and merkin
Havin ladies touchin the herk
And blushin and smirkin
Early in the morning rushin for workin
Screaming Ooh My F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S
Each night I’m freakin
Ma, you ain’t gonna talk me to death
cause you got free nights and weekends
Ghetto Fab’s all over the place
Oops there goes my kids all over you face
Ooh My
[Missy]
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was looking so good I couldn’t reject myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was feeling so good I had to touch myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was eyein my thighs butter pecan brown
(I looked over to the left)
Umm comin outta my shirt and then the skirt came down
[Chorus 2x:]
Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
Oops, there goes my skirt dropin’ to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch careesing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I’m turning red
Who could this be?
Ooh My
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I really am sorry about all the sherlock/benedict reblogs today.
I really am sorry about all the sherlock/benedict reblogs today.
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tvshowshirts: Bye Bye Greasy T-Shirt OMG! I should get this...
OMG! I should get this and have it be recognized by zero people in my life.
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The Story of Kyle One day, when I was a freshman in high...
The Story of Kyle
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.” He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before, but we talked all the way home, and I carried his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.
We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.
On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach — but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.” I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life.This always makes me cry like a fucking baby.
Feels
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inscarletsilence: my favourite thing about cat yawns is they...
my favourite thing about cat yawns is they start off real cute and then get fucking menacing as shit
every time
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sherlock-is-my-bby: sakibatch: hey wait where did my pants go I...
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