Doubts I get. Doubts make sense. Especially if he’s falling for Sherlock. But constant hate and regret? No.
IMHO self hating homo John should be marked AU. It makes about as much sense as Vampire Sherlock or Pregnant Lestrade. It’s a different universe.
In the real world John is a BAMF. A pillar. A core.
But I’ll finish this 100k fic in hopes that the real John Watson will please stand up, please stand up….eventually.
I think he’d have doubts, but I don’t think he’d hate himself for it. He’s not that kind of person.
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