I feel like a shitty person. I know people want to talk to me and  be nice to me and tell me nice...

I feel like a shitty person. I know people want to talk to me and  be nice to me and tell me nice things but I just don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to hear about how it was when your *insert loved one* died. I don’t want to talk about bullshit and pretend like my mom didn’t just die. I don’t want to talk about how she died. I don’t want to talk about her life. I don’t want to talk. Is this healthy? Probably not. But it is what it is. And I feel like a shitty person putting up a dumb message on facebook saying “hey thanks for the calls but I don’t wanna talk”. It makes me seem …I dunno…like I don’t really appreciate and understand people want to talk to be helpful but I just don’t want to talk. I’ve barely discussed it with Hex and if I’ve barely discussed it with the one person I plan to spend the rest of my life with then do you really think I want to talk about it with an Aunt I haven’t talked to in ten years? To a friend that spent a year trying to kill himself with drugs? To a casual friend who I haven’t emailed in months? See this is why I am a shitty person because I disqualify all these people for these horrible reasons. People just care and I get it but I just can’t give a fuck about anyone else except my siblings and dad right now. I just…I just…I guess I’m just a shitty person and I’m going to be one for a while because my mother is dead and I can only focus on just….not falling totally apart so I’m crap for not thinking about the people who want to help…because…they can’t help.