angelswhiskeypie:
random musings on dean in season 9 because i have a lot of feelings.
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I suppose then we have to explore how much of his self-hatred contributes to his actions? And what needs to be done to break this cycle. Then of course we have to go back to the beginning of his life. Is Dean’s self-loathing/hatred because of the way his father treated him? Is it because he failed to save his mom? Is it some misguided repentance of the time he spent torturing souls in hell?
I honestly need a full series rewatch because I’m trying to remember a season when Dean didn’t make bad decisions. Was there a shift with him? Because at this point it’s so terribly dark that I think if I didn’t have my lovely Sam and my hatred of him (and his boyfriend) then I’m not sure how much I could stomach this sad,stupid man who constantly ruins his and other’s lives. I’m not tuning into the Dean show—Where Dean fucks up but he surely does mean well. Every week at cry o’thirty!
But if we have to go back to the start then I can’t help but think this is all due to the very first (and worst) mistake he made
He was SELFISH. There is absolutely no other way to describe. He was selfish because Sam was out. Sam was happy. Sam was living the life that he deserved after a horrible childhood but Dean didn’t want to do it alone. Any of it alone. So Sam went with him. So maybe this is where the self-loathing begins….when he ruined Sam’s life.
And for that… I dunno man. I think he’s right to hate himself.
Course we wouldn’t have a series…
But Dean’s loathing is based on his choices and his choices are always, always bad. I have no hug in my bag for him. Just a middle finger.